Saturday, March 25, 2006


Some phrases spoken are just the plain truth. No filler. No fluff. No big edumacated words. Just the real deal.

When a child backs up the entire home plumbing system with toys, pens & pencils, how are we parents expected to respond? Is it ever o.k. to react when hard-earned ends are flushed down the toilet only because they chose to act a fool since being reprimanded for swinging sticks around their siblings with intention to harm?

A sister-girl shared with me last night the complexity of keeping it all together no matter how inappropriate the little one's behavior. Shoot...her aggrevation came through the phone lines & resounded off the kitchen walls. To not resort to the child-training techniques that my guardians used means refining notions deeply embedded. Of course, that's good. Nothing but. However, it also means that we spend a lot more time talking & repeating than it seems we should - according to old school chastising.

Talk to a child? Huh? Wish eye would have requested that we sit down & "talk about it". Communicate? That's like a plague in the Black family - at least in mine. Even suggesting such would have gotten me more licks...& harder.

Well, here in the Oprah-age, times have changed. No matter that she has no babies of her own, years of "talking" to people with child has apparently influenced many of us that hitting our children is wrong. While this observation is sarcastic, Neo & ridiculous all at once (again, gal ain't got no kids!), as humans, our genetic structure stands to possibly change as a result of us abandoning another primal behavior. This is seriously revolutionary business. Wouldn't it be great for our grans & greats to possibly come to know peace all because Oprah Winfrey (Eastside represent!) never stopped running her mouth about how parents should raise their own kids.

As the pimps say, spitting it out of our mouths will influence the way that they think by shaping their perspective. Over time, this seems likely to be more effective than generating fear through physical violence. Parents automatically associate changed actions as "lesson learned", which has been proven untrue over & over again. We should put ourselves in our child's shoes as we had hoped our parents would have. Any person of superior position that picks on one defenseless is a bully. That's just my opinion. It becomes more clear to my spouse & eye that we don't have any reason to bully our own children. There are other ways to control the little fuzzy monsters. The nicerways do make for regular sore throats, extreme fits of frustration & the occasional desire to run as far away as my long legs will carry me. Keep it real! Still, communication creates a much more harmonious environment in the living quarters than violence, so for that reason alone, eye am working at it agressively. Cheers to those of you who join!

Me? Locked down over a tantrum? No. Not me. Too much to do. Too much to cee.


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