Being married in the entertainment business is more of a challenge than the rigors of this industry itself. It's no wonder unions don't last more than a hot second with all the pressures. Plus, it's a complete fact that real artists are absolutely out of their minds, which makes it tough if you're a spouse with any square tendencies at all. The fact that they don't even know it makes the likelihood of a smooth ride nearly impossible.
Prior to this pregnancy, just how a woman could consider aborting her precious unborn baby always brought me to a point of judgement.
"How could she think like that?" How could she go through with it?"
Only during this, my fifth pregnancy, did that become an option that has crossed my mind on more than one occassion. When it became clear back in the Spring that eye was indeed expecting again, instantly eye thought of the many sister-girls in my life who have chosen this path. They always complain afterwards of an emptiness & guilt that never goes away. Even still, knowing just how unlikely that my financial circumstances would change during the course of this gestational period, it seemed like a logical step - for everyone's sake. Of course, now in the eighth month of pregnancy, we all know what the final outcome of those original thoughts, the struggle with my choice still lingers.
Having survived a series of infidelities (common in the business; common in a marriage) over the last years, in addition to a temper of my own that has gotten so out of control at times that my man could have easily had me hemmed up on spousal abuse charges, it seems almost wrong to bring another child into this roller-coaster relationship; this insane world. But as we all know, no matter how hard we try, we don't always control these things. It's so much bigger than our daily worries.
As my girlfriend affirmed a while back, "We all lead Jerry Springer lives." So damn true!
Some of you will gasp at my candor; others will judge & criticize. Hopefully all will be able to see the beauty in my brutal honesty to some degree as we could all stand a little more truth & reality in our day to day. My people won't even flinch, as they will tell you that this is just the type of REAL gal that eye am. No matter how you know me - as an artist, business-woman, friend or foe, my desire is that you too come to have a glimpse into this fantasy life called the music business understanding that we are one people in the end.
Your tail stinks when you purge your colon the same as mine. We all put on our socks one foot at a time. Let's love & support each other instead of tearing one another apart. Life is too short to do it any other way. Don't be skerred.
Much love to you & yours!
4 years ago